I was a wild child.
It was hard to keep me in the house for very long.
Adventure constantly called me outdoors and into nature.
I grew up in the expansive forests of the PNW. Healthy ecosystems surrounded me.
Creeks, ponds, and lakes to stomp around in, paddle boats through, and immerse myself in. Ancient red cedars reached up into the sky.
Woods to run through for as far as I was allowed.
I wanted to skip school as much as possible so that I could exist in the outer world.
I would play into the dark of the night.
Sticker bush forts.
Tree climbing.
Adventuring in the mountains.
Seeking the snow-covered peaks.
It was what provided life energy for me.
The moment I graduated school there was nothing more important in my life than FREEDOM.
My choice to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted, outranked anything else. A life of so much privilege allowed me to creatively express myself in many different ways.
As I aged my freedom began to collapse. My external world was as free as It had ever been. I only worked 3-4 months a year doing seasonal jobs I enjoyed. Free from authority the other 8-9 months. No boss, no parents, almost no rules. It didn’t logically make sense, this feeling of restriction. I slowly realized that it was an internal malfunction. My beliefs, my opinions, and my perspectives were becoming more solidified, more reactive, more predominant. Life was becoming more rigid inside a box of expectations. The way I had lived for my young adult years was starting to feel like an addiction. That I had to maintain whatever I had been experiencing just to be any sort of happy. It was like the bar that I needed to consistently reach, a standard I had to have, and if I didn’t hit it I was thrown off balance. Easily becoming mad, frustrated, or just feeling displeasure. A repercussion of riding so high was anything other than bliss was extremely low. It was not the external responsible for what I was feeling. I was snowboarding, traveling, adventuring, creating, doing whatever I pleased. Something was asking for my attention. This was my calling to drop in. Become more attuned to my thoughts, my feelings, what was perpetuating from my past. I had to realize the identity I was slowly locking myself inside of.
This awareness was the key to me being able to decide how I felt about life. I was experiencing a constant treadmill, trying to change the outer world to appease me. With this new realization, I was able to place my attention on what mattered- my inner interpretations of the world around me. It would be a tiring life to change everything external to please the internal. With this new awareness, I could make a choice.
I started clearly seeing the importance of being connected to what was going on inside of me. It would lead me to a consistent practice of Dropping in. Making time to just be, observe, and find presence within the moment. I realized that if I became focused on what my interpretations were of the world around me I would no longer be susceptible to being such a victim to them. I realized this was where true freedom resided.
Imagine a less reactive world. A world that the majority of humans have created a solid foundation inside of themselves. Leaving them less volatile from insecurities, doubt, and displeasure. More balanced and stable inside. Imagine within your own life there being less reactivity, more pleasure, more freedom, and the ability to be in control of your interpretations of life. What would that open up for you? Our inner perspectives are malleable, they are fluid. We are not our behavior. We are not our thoughts. They are ripples out from energetic exchanges of our past. This is why we have such an advantage as outdoor enthusiasts. Nature calls us inward. When we are immersed in the frequencies of the outdoors it sends vibrations into us that remind us of how we once lived as a species. So this is a callout to others. Search for your true freedom. Freedom that is not dictated by other's behavior. Not directed by the craving for life to always be a certain way. Not lead by what is happening externally.
This is the potential that exists when we Drop-In and learn more about ourselves. This is the depth of this series. Freedom to interpret life as we please. Freedom to feel joy even in the face of turmoil. Freedom to interpret life as we so choose.
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